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I'll confess from the onset that I haven't read this book--don't need to to be perfectly honest. Between my huge paycheck, buff backside, winning smile, and firm-fit bod I have it pretty easy with the laydees. However, I thought it'd be a rather amusing goatgetter for my sex-hating blimp of a spouse. So...I placed it prominently on the living room coffee table. Just to see what would happen. Well, Tony Clink's book was soon flying across the room (soaring, in fact, past my 56 inch television and upside my perfectly coifed head). Bessie's aim is improving with every pound she adds to her gorillish frame. Thanks Tony Clink!
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I've purchased a few of these humphelp books more as a joke than anything else. For the most part I rely on my buff bod and winning smile to score with the chicks down at the local bar, but I have had far less success in the connubial bedroom. To be frank, my blushing fifth bride has put on more than a few pounds since our son Chad was born after that glorius election of 2000. She likes to eat and refuses to exercise (a losing combination to be sure). And, of course, she claims she's not interested in the munky munky. Well, Ol' Hops isn't shy even when the hips are of the hippo--and they most certainly are in Bessie's case. It helps when I'm on the sauce (which is most nearly all the time), but sometimes I just can't get the Old Fat Pajamamama to commit. So, I enlisted this book as a guide.
Well, here's the deal. It doesn't work. My unwilling whale of a wife refused my continual eye contact (stressed as the key to success in this "system") and even called me a "creepy, staring, drooling, nutjob". I tried charming her with some sweet phrases (not stressed enough in this book, if you ask me--and I am an expert) and was once again rebuffed.(...)
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I have tried six times to describe how worthless this book is. And each time, some overly sensitive complainer has somehow managed to have the French leadership at amazon pull the review. I will try it more simply this time: This book is not good. HHD.
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I am very hopeful that instead of the ridiculously overpriced college tuition bills I can get by with this much less expensive "guide" to life without college. Who needs frat beer bashes and sorority panty parties? Not my kids. This book will do just fine
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Men marry women who are physically attractive, physically active, and smell good. Those who are fat, lazy, and stink don't score high in the marriagability scorebook. I've married five times so I am somewhat of an expert and it's all pretty much common sense. A better book would be "Why Men Dump Their Wives for the Hotties Down at the Local Bar".
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I bought this for my cooking-challenged spouse Bessie and she was not amused. In fact, the last time I saw this supposedly useful book was when it bounced off the top of my head. Be careful who you give this to.
This post has been edited 2 times, last edit by "myabba|abra" (Dec 16th 2005, 1:20am)